Well it's official. On Wednesday, September 26, 2007, I quit my job at Kiddieland. I won't go into all the gory details but it was NOT a happy ending. Maybe someday I'll tell the whole story but for now I really don't want to even think about it, let alone write about it. The question now is: what happens to this blog?
I'm not sure, is the short answer. I hardly had any readers here anyway, so I'm tempted to just close DCD down. On the other hand, if I get a job at another day care center it might be fun to keep a day care blog going, maybe in a different form, though. And I've thought about making a blog just about my views on children, parenting, and families without any connection to my work. In fact, DCD was becoming something like that, with several of my posts being about children and/or parenting in general, and not about day care.
I think I'll keep this blog up for now. I probably won't be posting on it again until I land another job. If that job's not in the day care field then DCD will almost certainly become a general children/parenting blog. If my next job is in day care, then DCD will continue as is...or maybe not. I just don't know. I really don't know.
Friday, September 28, 2007
Sunday, September 16, 2007
Sleepy Baby Aaron
This goes on a bit too long but it's still adorable. I've never understood why babies fight sleep so hard. Good thing baby Aaron had big brother for a pillow, or he might have never given up the ghost!
Monday, September 03, 2007
A Family of Five
It sounds unbelievable but it's true: I've got five babies now! Since Texas law allows only four babies to one caregiver I now have an assisstant; her name is Lena. And you know what? I was her caregiver when she was a little girl. Lena attended the after-school program I worked for back in the '90's. Now she's grown and has a daughter of her own--and works with me at Kiddieland. What a small world!
I really like my two new babies, Tina MayLee, 3 months and Kaytrin Faye, 7 weeks. They're the youngest babies in our little "family", which now consists of two girls and three boys. Arnie is now the oldest, a fact that I'm still getting used to, and so is he. :0) Anyway, back to the girls. Tina and Kaytrin are very precious girls. They're both so small compared to my boys; when I pick them up it's like picking up air. It's been a few months since I've had babies this young. It's a nice change of pace. I was worried that the girls would upset the boys' nap routine but they fit right in. T and K actually require less intense care than my boys, two of whom are mobile and constantly getting into everything. And they're soooo cute!
Tina reminds me of Maya, my favorite baby in my first class, when she was Tina's age. In fact, when I saw Tina I instantly fell in love with her because she looks so much like Maya. She has the same chubby cheeks, straight hair, and pretty round head that Maya had. Now that I've been with Tina for a couple of weeks I'm starting to love her for herself, but she's got a special place in my heart because of her resemblance to my beloved Maya. Kaytrin is a different story.
Kaytrin Faye is cute but she also has a...unique look. When I first saw her she reminded me of the elves in the christmas cartoon "Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer". Now I think those elves are cute but when I called Kaytrin my little christmas elf in front of her Dad, he wasn't too happy. He would've really been upset if I called Kaytrin the other cartoon character she looks like, Arnold the football head boy. I know, it's a stretch from christmas elves to Arnold, but they aren't the only fictional person Kaytrin resembles. She also looks a little like Gollum in the "The Lord of the Rings" movies, but a cute Gollum. Really. Ok, don't believe me, but it's true. A cute Gollum.
That's about all I have to say about my new babies for now. They're both so young that they don't do much but eat, sleep and poop, oh, and Kaytrin pukes BIG TIME. But I'm glad they've joined the fold. Welcome to the family, Tina and Kaytrin! I love you!
I really like my two new babies, Tina MayLee, 3 months and Kaytrin Faye, 7 weeks. They're the youngest babies in our little "family", which now consists of two girls and three boys. Arnie is now the oldest, a fact that I'm still getting used to, and so is he. :0) Anyway, back to the girls. Tina and Kaytrin are very precious girls. They're both so small compared to my boys; when I pick them up it's like picking up air. It's been a few months since I've had babies this young. It's a nice change of pace. I was worried that the girls would upset the boys' nap routine but they fit right in. T and K actually require less intense care than my boys, two of whom are mobile and constantly getting into everything. And they're soooo cute!
Tina reminds me of Maya, my favorite baby in my first class, when she was Tina's age. In fact, when I saw Tina I instantly fell in love with her because she looks so much like Maya. She has the same chubby cheeks, straight hair, and pretty round head that Maya had. Now that I've been with Tina for a couple of weeks I'm starting to love her for herself, but she's got a special place in my heart because of her resemblance to my beloved Maya. Kaytrin is a different story.
Kaytrin Faye is cute but she also has a...unique look. When I first saw her she reminded me of the elves in the christmas cartoon "Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer". Now I think those elves are cute but when I called Kaytrin my little christmas elf in front of her Dad, he wasn't too happy. He would've really been upset if I called Kaytrin the other cartoon character she looks like, Arnold the football head boy. I know, it's a stretch from christmas elves to Arnold, but they aren't the only fictional person Kaytrin resembles. She also looks a little like Gollum in the "The Lord of the Rings" movies, but a cute Gollum. Really. Ok, don't believe me, but it's true. A cute Gollum.
That's about all I have to say about my new babies for now. They're both so young that they don't do much but eat, sleep and poop, oh, and Kaytrin pukes BIG TIME. But I'm glad they've joined the fold. Welcome to the family, Tina and Kaytrin! I love you!
Saturday, August 18, 2007
Monday, July 30, 2007
Three Cheers for Walgreens Diapers!
In the 10 plus years I've worked in day care I've bought many supplies for my kids. When I've been in the infants' class I've bought baby food, blankets, clothes, baby powder, corn starch, baby wipes and, of course, diapers.
I like to keep at least one package of diapers in my class to serve as a back up in case one of the babies runs out. I always buy store brand diapers. Dollar General (DG) and Family Dollar (FD) were the usual stores I purchased diapers from but, about three weeks ago, I just happened to buy some Walgreens diapers. I was in the store and suddenly realized that I wouldn't have time to stop by GD or FD for diapers and make it back to work on time. So I decided to buy the diapers at Walgreens. I'm so glad I did!
Of all the different store brand diapers I've bought Walgreens' are the best. They look and feel like the expensive name brand diapers. And they don't run big, which is good because they fit Arnie just right. Arnie is whom I was buying the diapers for. He's under weight and the other store brands tended to run big and didn't fit Arnie snugly. In fact, the size 3 diapers from DG and FD were so big that they comfortably fit Jessa who's 3 months older than Arnie! But Walgreens' diapers treat Arnie just right.
The price for Walgreens diapers is a little higher than other store brands, but lower than the name brands. And you get the same quality. So I say, "Three cheers for Walgreens' diapers! Hip hip hooray! Hip hip hooray! Hip hip hooray!"
I like to keep at least one package of diapers in my class to serve as a back up in case one of the babies runs out. I always buy store brand diapers. Dollar General (DG) and Family Dollar (FD) were the usual stores I purchased diapers from but, about three weeks ago, I just happened to buy some Walgreens diapers. I was in the store and suddenly realized that I wouldn't have time to stop by GD or FD for diapers and make it back to work on time. So I decided to buy the diapers at Walgreens. I'm so glad I did!
Of all the different store brand diapers I've bought Walgreens' are the best. They look and feel like the expensive name brand diapers. And they don't run big, which is good because they fit Arnie just right. Arnie is whom I was buying the diapers for. He's under weight and the other store brands tended to run big and didn't fit Arnie snugly. In fact, the size 3 diapers from DG and FD were so big that they comfortably fit Jessa who's 3 months older than Arnie! But Walgreens' diapers treat Arnie just right.
The price for Walgreens diapers is a little higher than other store brands, but lower than the name brands. And you get the same quality. So I say, "Three cheers for Walgreens' diapers! Hip hip hooray! Hip hip hooray! Hip hip hooray!"
Friday, July 27, 2007
Do I Really Belong In This Job?
Well, this is the second Friday since I returned to work from vacation. I was going to post last week about how being back at work was going, but I'm kind of glad I waited until today. I think I have a better perspective on my job now than when I first went back.
I'm really starting to wonder if I belong in day care. I need a new job for financial reasons but I also feel that I need a new one for deeper reasons. I'm not fulfilled in day care. Don't get me wrong. I love my babies dearly, and the thought of being away from them and having someone else caring for them really hurts. Too, their parents trust me with their most prized possessions and I feel that if I quit I'll be letting them down. But everyday the feeling that I'm wasting my life grows more and more intense.
There're a couple of causes of this feeling. First, I don't get any respect on the job. My co-workers and my boss think that my class is easy because the babies are so cute. None of them appreciates how hard my class really is and nobody does anything I ask them to do when they're in my room. When I went on vacation I specifically asked that the babies not be rocked to sleep or spoiled in any way. Guess what? When I returned to work the babies had been rocked to sleep and spoiled. And I wasn't supposed to notice. That's how dumb they think I am. Either that or they think that since the infants' class isn't a real class it doesn't matter if what I request gets done or not. And there's more.
I constantly get stuck with the phone when my boss is out of the office. That's right; I'm expected to play secretary while trying to care for four demanding infants. When I complained I was told that the phone was left with me because my room was, get this, the quietest room in the building! Another time I complained I was told, "How hard can it be?" That let me know how little my boss understood about just what goes on in my class. It was another dose of we-don't-have-to-take-you-seriously-because-you're-just-the-infant-teacher syndrome. I'm sick of that! I may be "just" the infants' teacher but I work hard. I'd like to see my boss take two of my babies into her office for two or three hours and care for them while doing all of her office duties. Of course, that won't happen.
Another reason I think I'm wasting my live in day care is that there's no intellectual challenge in it. I get great emotional highs caring for my babies, but there're no intellectual highs to match them. I didn't realize I was missing that until I was talking with my friend about my job and she said she wished I was using my brain power at work. It was like a light bulb went on over my head. That's when I realized what I was missing at work.
Taking care of four babies is physically challenging and emotionally rewarding but it requires no mental effort at all. Keeping little babies clean, dry, fed, and entertained isn't rocket science, as the saying goes. At the end of the day I feel like I've accomplished nothing. That's a miserable feeling. And no amount of hugs, smiles, laughs, and funny faces from the babies compensates for that. I don't know what to do. There's no way for me to get intellectual gratification at work. Getting puked on and wiping snotty noses just don't get the mental juices flowing.
So I'm at a crossroads. I want and need to change jobs/careers for a few important reasons, but my love for the babies--and their parents--is holding me back. I can't stand the thought of "my" parents or the babies feeling abandoned if I leave, but I need to have my own life. That's another thing I realized about my job; it's an obstacle to me having a life of my own. By caring for their children I'm giving up my own life so "my" parents can live theirs. That seems so unfair. But I got myself into this situation and it's up to me to get myself out.
So I guess the answer to the title questions is no, I don't belong in this job. I don't know what job I do belong in or when I'll find it, but day care is not it. Admitting that makes me sad. I hate the thought of not seeing my babies everyday; I love watching them grow, reach their milestones, and learn new skills. I don't know how I'll cope with not having cute, chubby faces to snap pictures of all the time. But I'll learn because the pay off will be having my life again. And that'll be a wonderful pay off indeed.
I'm really starting to wonder if I belong in day care. I need a new job for financial reasons but I also feel that I need a new one for deeper reasons. I'm not fulfilled in day care. Don't get me wrong. I love my babies dearly, and the thought of being away from them and having someone else caring for them really hurts. Too, their parents trust me with their most prized possessions and I feel that if I quit I'll be letting them down. But everyday the feeling that I'm wasting my life grows more and more intense.
There're a couple of causes of this feeling. First, I don't get any respect on the job. My co-workers and my boss think that my class is easy because the babies are so cute. None of them appreciates how hard my class really is and nobody does anything I ask them to do when they're in my room. When I went on vacation I specifically asked that the babies not be rocked to sleep or spoiled in any way. Guess what? When I returned to work the babies had been rocked to sleep and spoiled. And I wasn't supposed to notice. That's how dumb they think I am. Either that or they think that since the infants' class isn't a real class it doesn't matter if what I request gets done or not. And there's more.
I constantly get stuck with the phone when my boss is out of the office. That's right; I'm expected to play secretary while trying to care for four demanding infants. When I complained I was told that the phone was left with me because my room was, get this, the quietest room in the building! Another time I complained I was told, "How hard can it be?" That let me know how little my boss understood about just what goes on in my class. It was another dose of we-don't-have-to-take-you-seriously-because-you're-just-the-infant-teacher syndrome. I'm sick of that! I may be "just" the infants' teacher but I work hard. I'd like to see my boss take two of my babies into her office for two or three hours and care for them while doing all of her office duties. Of course, that won't happen.
Another reason I think I'm wasting my live in day care is that there's no intellectual challenge in it. I get great emotional highs caring for my babies, but there're no intellectual highs to match them. I didn't realize I was missing that until I was talking with my friend about my job and she said she wished I was using my brain power at work. It was like a light bulb went on over my head. That's when I realized what I was missing at work.
Taking care of four babies is physically challenging and emotionally rewarding but it requires no mental effort at all. Keeping little babies clean, dry, fed, and entertained isn't rocket science, as the saying goes. At the end of the day I feel like I've accomplished nothing. That's a miserable feeling. And no amount of hugs, smiles, laughs, and funny faces from the babies compensates for that. I don't know what to do. There's no way for me to get intellectual gratification at work. Getting puked on and wiping snotty noses just don't get the mental juices flowing.
So I'm at a crossroads. I want and need to change jobs/careers for a few important reasons, but my love for the babies--and their parents--is holding me back. I can't stand the thought of "my" parents or the babies feeling abandoned if I leave, but I need to have my own life. That's another thing I realized about my job; it's an obstacle to me having a life of my own. By caring for their children I'm giving up my own life so "my" parents can live theirs. That seems so unfair. But I got myself into this situation and it's up to me to get myself out.
So I guess the answer to the title questions is no, I don't belong in this job. I don't know what job I do belong in or when I'll find it, but day care is not it. Admitting that makes me sad. I hate the thought of not seeing my babies everyday; I love watching them grow, reach their milestones, and learn new skills. I don't know how I'll cope with not having cute, chubby faces to snap pictures of all the time. But I'll learn because the pay off will be having my life again. And that'll be a wonderful pay off indeed.
Saturday, July 14, 2007
Quotable Quotes: Family
"Where does the family start? It starts with a young man falling in love with a girl. No superior alternative has yet been found." Sir Winston Churchill
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
Wimps, Weaklings, and Wussies
Have you seen those nanny shows on tv? You know the ones, Nanny 911 and Super Nanny? I find them a hoot. Every time I watch them I can't believe that intelligent people let the whole country, even the whole world, see that they're totally incompetent parents. I can't believe the level of child spoiling there is out there. I see this in day care, too. Parents who are total wimps, weaklings and wussies with their kids. Parents who actually appear to be scared of their kids. It's sickening.
Even before the nanny shows debuted, there were plenty of examples of baby whipped parents on tv. Several years ago there was a spate of "I'm Scared of My Child" episodes on Maury Povich's talk show. They were shocking. There were kids as young as seven literally ruling their homes, hitting their parents to keep them in line and throwing outrageous tantrums to get their way. But what was really disgusting were the parents, all mothers, crying helplessly and pleading with their super brats to behave. YOU DON'T ASK CHILDREN TO BEHAVE, YOU REQUIRE IT!!!! I couldn't understand why those moms didn't get it. But there was more.
Another Maury Povich show discussed obese children. There was a 4-year-old boy who was extremely overweight, and guess what his parents said? If they tried to limit the amount of food the child ate he would throw a tantrum, so they let the kid stuff himself. I was dumbfounded. Those parents were risking their child's health, even his life, because they didn't want to deal with his tantrums! And sadly, they weren't the only parents doing that. The father of a 100 pound 2-year-old let his daughter eat an entire package of hot dogs for lunch because, he claimed, he loved her too much to say no. So another child's health was put at risk by a "loving" parent. And the sad parade of parental incompetence didn't stop with Maury Povich's show.
On an episode of 20/20 a mom let her preschooler make a total ass of her. The family was about to leave home for the day when the child insisted she had to have a stuffed animal on the way to day care. The mom got out of the car, went back into the house, and got a toy. The child whined that it wasn't the right one and the mom went back to get another toy. That one wasn't right, either. Back and forth the mom went for what seemed like forever. It never occurred to this supposedly intelligent woman to tell her daughter no and then let her scream all the way to day care. My mom, and most moms of her generation, would've had no problem doing that. But today's parents act like not giving in to their kids' every demand is a crime. How did we come to this?
I think the astronomical increase in two income families is largely to blame. Most working parents feel a great deal of guilt over leaving their kids in the care of substitutes. They try to assuage that guilt by spending "quality" time with their kids, meaning the little darlings are horribly indulged so they'll like mom and dad. Too, showering their children with everything they ask for, and even things they don't, helps working parents justify their employment--they "have" to get so much for the kids! So parents indulge the children to assuage their guilt, thus making the kids ever more demanding, which leads to more indulging, this time to keep the kids quiet. It becomes a viscious cycle. But there's more.
Many parents today are uncomfortable being the boss in their family. The collaspe of traditional values in America has led to a disrespect for parental authority, even among parents. Many of them now are indecently willing to give up a large chunk of their authority over their kids in exchange for less responsibility, responsibility which is then transferred to day care centers and schools. Combine this parental abdication with the current obsession with children's self-esteem and "positive" discipline and you have the perfect spoiled brat recipe.
How do we get out of this mess? Return to traditional values! As I stated above, parents of my mom's generation had no problem telling their kids no. They and their children knew who was in charge (hint: it wasn't the kids). Today's parents need to get the same confidence in their authority. It's a vital prerequisite to teaching children character. If kids learn good character in childhood they'll be blessings to society as adults. It is parents' job to make sure that happens. It's a daunting task; no wimps, weaklings, or wussies allowed!
Even before the nanny shows debuted, there were plenty of examples of baby whipped parents on tv. Several years ago there was a spate of "I'm Scared of My Child" episodes on Maury Povich's talk show. They were shocking. There were kids as young as seven literally ruling their homes, hitting their parents to keep them in line and throwing outrageous tantrums to get their way. But what was really disgusting were the parents, all mothers, crying helplessly and pleading with their super brats to behave. YOU DON'T ASK CHILDREN TO BEHAVE, YOU REQUIRE IT!!!! I couldn't understand why those moms didn't get it. But there was more.
Another Maury Povich show discussed obese children. There was a 4-year-old boy who was extremely overweight, and guess what his parents said? If they tried to limit the amount of food the child ate he would throw a tantrum, so they let the kid stuff himself. I was dumbfounded. Those parents were risking their child's health, even his life, because they didn't want to deal with his tantrums! And sadly, they weren't the only parents doing that. The father of a 100 pound 2-year-old let his daughter eat an entire package of hot dogs for lunch because, he claimed, he loved her too much to say no. So another child's health was put at risk by a "loving" parent. And the sad parade of parental incompetence didn't stop with Maury Povich's show.
On an episode of 20/20 a mom let her preschooler make a total ass of her. The family was about to leave home for the day when the child insisted she had to have a stuffed animal on the way to day care. The mom got out of the car, went back into the house, and got a toy. The child whined that it wasn't the right one and the mom went back to get another toy. That one wasn't right, either. Back and forth the mom went for what seemed like forever. It never occurred to this supposedly intelligent woman to tell her daughter no and then let her scream all the way to day care. My mom, and most moms of her generation, would've had no problem doing that. But today's parents act like not giving in to their kids' every demand is a crime. How did we come to this?
I think the astronomical increase in two income families is largely to blame. Most working parents feel a great deal of guilt over leaving their kids in the care of substitutes. They try to assuage that guilt by spending "quality" time with their kids, meaning the little darlings are horribly indulged so they'll like mom and dad. Too, showering their children with everything they ask for, and even things they don't, helps working parents justify their employment--they "have" to get so much for the kids! So parents indulge the children to assuage their guilt, thus making the kids ever more demanding, which leads to more indulging, this time to keep the kids quiet. It becomes a viscious cycle. But there's more.
Many parents today are uncomfortable being the boss in their family. The collaspe of traditional values in America has led to a disrespect for parental authority, even among parents. Many of them now are indecently willing to give up a large chunk of their authority over their kids in exchange for less responsibility, responsibility which is then transferred to day care centers and schools. Combine this parental abdication with the current obsession with children's self-esteem and "positive" discipline and you have the perfect spoiled brat recipe.
How do we get out of this mess? Return to traditional values! As I stated above, parents of my mom's generation had no problem telling their kids no. They and their children knew who was in charge (hint: it wasn't the kids). Today's parents need to get the same confidence in their authority. It's a vital prerequisite to teaching children character. If kids learn good character in childhood they'll be blessings to society as adults. It is parents' job to make sure that happens. It's a daunting task; no wimps, weaklings, or wussies allowed!
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
Vacation!
I'm on vacation!!!!! I love my babies and I miss them very much, but I'm enjoying my vacation A LOT!!!!! I did go to Kiddieland yesterday to leave instructions for my substitutes and to drop off the laundry I'd done for the babies. The washer and dryer at work are broken; in fact, they've been broken for at least 6 weeks. Rather than depend on my boss to wash the babies' laundry at her house I choose to do it myself. That way I know it'll get back to work when the babies' need it. Anyway, I took the babies' things to them and spent more time there than I'd planned.
Jessa was really happy to see me. Her face lit up when I walked into the room and she crawled to me as fast as she could. I picked her up and she laid her head on my shoulder, her way of showing affection. That made me feel so good.
The boys were a different story. Gregory was sleep and Riley was chilling in the swing. That left Arnie to pay me some attention but he was more interested in getting Jessa to play with him. I'm not that close to Arnie. I thought he was very homely when I first met him and his personality is a lot like Eeyore's. Plus, he makes nap time a nightmare. Still, Arnie and I are slowly forming a bond. He likes to sit with me and watch the mobile hanging over the rocking chair, and I'm learning different ways to make him laugh. Hopefully we can get as close as I am with the others, but you don't always click with every baby you have.
After I left my room I went to the 2's class to take some pictures of Emma, who used to be in my class. I wound up taking pictures of all four kids who were there at the time. It was more work than I imagined. Getting the kids to stay seated, smile, and hold the props the way I wanted took some effort. I have a new appreciation for child photographers!
After more than an hour I finally left Kiddieland and enjoyed a day of relaxing driving, tv watching, blogging and internet surfing. That's what I plan to do all week. Ahhhhh!!!
Jessa was really happy to see me. Her face lit up when I walked into the room and she crawled to me as fast as she could. I picked her up and she laid her head on my shoulder, her way of showing affection. That made me feel so good.
The boys were a different story. Gregory was sleep and Riley was chilling in the swing. That left Arnie to pay me some attention but he was more interested in getting Jessa to play with him. I'm not that close to Arnie. I thought he was very homely when I first met him and his personality is a lot like Eeyore's. Plus, he makes nap time a nightmare. Still, Arnie and I are slowly forming a bond. He likes to sit with me and watch the mobile hanging over the rocking chair, and I'm learning different ways to make him laugh. Hopefully we can get as close as I am with the others, but you don't always click with every baby you have.
After I left my room I went to the 2's class to take some pictures of Emma, who used to be in my class. I wound up taking pictures of all four kids who were there at the time. It was more work than I imagined. Getting the kids to stay seated, smile, and hold the props the way I wanted took some effort. I have a new appreciation for child photographers!
After more than an hour I finally left Kiddieland and enjoyed a day of relaxing driving, tv watching, blogging and internet surfing. That's what I plan to do all week. Ahhhhh!!!
Saturday, June 23, 2007
To Spank Or Not To Spank
While surfing blogs on BlogExplosion a few days ago I came across an anti-spanking blog. I briefly perused the site and thought it a little emotional. I prepared to leave a comment when I noticed a message from the blog's author that comments would no longer be allowed on her site because of unpleasant comments left by spankers who "tend to be an angry lot". I completely lost interest in the blog when I read that. To accuse parents and other adults who spank children of being somehow abnormally angry was a symptom of the self-righteousness that I often see from anti-spankers.
As you can probably guess, I'm pro-spanking, i.e., I believe that parents who want to spank their kids should be allowed to without judgment and certainly without interference from the law. Kiddieland, like most day care centers, doesn't allow spanking--or any real discipline, as far as I'm concerned--but I think that if a day care center wants to allow physical punishment with parental permission, it should be allowed to. I think that may actually be the law in Texas.
I know I probably ticked off half the universe with the above statements. People, especially the anti-spankers, can get really emotional on this issue. So let me explain why I believe that spanking is ok.
The main reason I'm pro-spanking is that I was spanked as a child and turned out alright. As hard as it may be for the anti-spankers to believe, I'm not a child abuser, domestic abuser, violent criminal, or depressed psychotic in spite of the fact that my mother whipped my tush when I needed it. The idea that spanking teaches violence is one of the anti-spankers' favorite arguments against physical punishment, but I've never seen that connection in real life.
I'm sure there are murderers and other violent people who were spanked as kids, but there are also countless hardworking, law-abiding and decent people who are loving spouses and parents who were also spanked as kids. Somehow their existence doesn't make an impression on the anti-spanking forces. Let's be honest here. It's takes a combination of many different influences to make someone a habitually violent person. Two or more kids can grow up in the same family, receive the same discipline and end up profoundly different adults. To say that spanking, or the absence thereof, is the decisive factor sounds a little too convenient to me.
Part of the problem may be that anti-spanking activists tend to conflate spanking and abuse. The blog mentioned above claimed that it was dedicated to protecting children from "physical assault". That's a loaded statement. The term "assault" conjures up dire images in the minds of most people. The effort to equate those images with parents who pop their kids on the behind once in a while is insulting, to say the least. But that's the dishonest tactic the anti-spankers use. Of course, many anti-spankers may truly believe that any physical punishment of children is physical assault, but that makes me question their ability to make sound judgments.
Children are not the equal of adults. They are under adults' authority because their understanding of life is limited by their age and cognitive development. Children don't instinctively know what's best for them. They will do what appeals to them without regard to the consequences. In fact, they lack the life experience to fully understand the concept of consequences, especially long term consequences. As the Bible so accurately puts it, "Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of correction will drive it from him." I think the extent to which someone believes the above proverb determines whether he's pro or anti-spanking.
I don't believe that parents have to spank their kids in order to keep them under control. I just think that parents who do shouldn't be condemned for it, and I don't think I'm alone. I feel that pro-spanking people--parents and non-parents--are by far the more tolerant side of the spanking debate. They aren't the ones accusing people of being abusers and assaulters; they aren't the ones demanding that the state impose their view on others through force of law.
If you don't want to spank your child, then don't. If you believe that spanking is an effective tool in an overall discipline strategy, then use it and don't sweat what the anti-spankers will say. Fight all attempts to outlaw spanking;that is an egregious violation of parents' right to raise their children as they, and not the state, sees fit. Yes, some people will make decisions for their kids that other people don't like, but unless it's abusive government--and activists of all kinds--have absolutely NO right to interfere. So I say spank if you feel it's right, don't if you don't, and live and let live. That's a lesson in tolerance that children can really use.
As you can probably guess, I'm pro-spanking, i.e., I believe that parents who want to spank their kids should be allowed to without judgment and certainly without interference from the law. Kiddieland, like most day care centers, doesn't allow spanking--or any real discipline, as far as I'm concerned--but I think that if a day care center wants to allow physical punishment with parental permission, it should be allowed to. I think that may actually be the law in Texas.
I know I probably ticked off half the universe with the above statements. People, especially the anti-spankers, can get really emotional on this issue. So let me explain why I believe that spanking is ok.
The main reason I'm pro-spanking is that I was spanked as a child and turned out alright. As hard as it may be for the anti-spankers to believe, I'm not a child abuser, domestic abuser, violent criminal, or depressed psychotic in spite of the fact that my mother whipped my tush when I needed it. The idea that spanking teaches violence is one of the anti-spankers' favorite arguments against physical punishment, but I've never seen that connection in real life.
I'm sure there are murderers and other violent people who were spanked as kids, but there are also countless hardworking, law-abiding and decent people who are loving spouses and parents who were also spanked as kids. Somehow their existence doesn't make an impression on the anti-spanking forces. Let's be honest here. It's takes a combination of many different influences to make someone a habitually violent person. Two or more kids can grow up in the same family, receive the same discipline and end up profoundly different adults. To say that spanking, or the absence thereof, is the decisive factor sounds a little too convenient to me.
Part of the problem may be that anti-spanking activists tend to conflate spanking and abuse. The blog mentioned above claimed that it was dedicated to protecting children from "physical assault". That's a loaded statement. The term "assault" conjures up dire images in the minds of most people. The effort to equate those images with parents who pop their kids on the behind once in a while is insulting, to say the least. But that's the dishonest tactic the anti-spankers use. Of course, many anti-spankers may truly believe that any physical punishment of children is physical assault, but that makes me question their ability to make sound judgments.
Children are not the equal of adults. They are under adults' authority because their understanding of life is limited by their age and cognitive development. Children don't instinctively know what's best for them. They will do what appeals to them without regard to the consequences. In fact, they lack the life experience to fully understand the concept of consequences, especially long term consequences. As the Bible so accurately puts it, "Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of correction will drive it from him." I think the extent to which someone believes the above proverb determines whether he's pro or anti-spanking.
I don't believe that parents have to spank their kids in order to keep them under control. I just think that parents who do shouldn't be condemned for it, and I don't think I'm alone. I feel that pro-spanking people--parents and non-parents--are by far the more tolerant side of the spanking debate. They aren't the ones accusing people of being abusers and assaulters; they aren't the ones demanding that the state impose their view on others through force of law.
If you don't want to spank your child, then don't. If you believe that spanking is an effective tool in an overall discipline strategy, then use it and don't sweat what the anti-spankers will say. Fight all attempts to outlaw spanking;that is an egregious violation of parents' right to raise their children as they, and not the state, sees fit. Yes, some people will make decisions for their kids that other people don't like, but unless it's abusive government--and activists of all kinds--have absolutely NO right to interfere. So I say spank if you feel it's right, don't if you don't, and live and let live. That's a lesson in tolerance that children can really use.
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
Whack-A-Mole!
Working in day care lets you see the funny side of babies and children. Sometimes that "funny" side can be kind of painful, though. Today Jessa, my oldest, decided to turn Arnie, my oldest boy, into a Whack-A-Mole, you know, that arcade game where you try to smash the moles to win tickets. I don't know what made Jessa want to turn poor Arnie into a mole, but she cut loose on him before I could stop her.
I was putting some things away in the babies' cubbies when I heard this thud sound. I turned around and saw Jessa whacking away on Arnie with a rattle. Arnie had the funniest what-did-I-do-to-deserve-this-? look on his face. I know I shouldn't have laughed, but the whole scene was tememdously funny. Yes, little Arnie was on the wrong end of the stick, er, rattle, but it was funny. I can't help it; it was funny! Of course, I quickly grabbed the rattle from Jessa and sternly told her that we don't whack our friends, but I laughed about the incident for the rest of the day.
This cute little incident highlighted a curious situation between Jessa and Arnie. Arnie adores Jessa. He loves it when she pays attention to him. Arnie can't crawl yet, but during tummy time he follows Jessa around by scooting on his stomach. When he's in the walker he squawks until Jessa comes over to him. He just loves her. Jessa's feelings for Arnie, though, are a little complicated.
When Arnie first arrived in my class, Jessa quickly develolped an intense jealousy of him. She wasn't jealous of Gregory, who's younger and cuter than Arnie, but she couldn't stand it if I paid any attention to Arnie. It got so bad that I had to corral Jessa whenever I fed Arnie because if I didn't she would pull on my pants' leg and fight to climb into my lap to the point of trying to push Arnie out of my arms. But in the past few weeks Jessa's jealousy has mysterioulsy lessened. She seems to enjoy him now, at least a little. She likes making Arnie laugh and now she lets me feed him in peace. Maybe she realizes that Arnie can actually be a playmate and not just a competitor for my attention. Whatever the reason, Jessa now seems to want to be Arnie's friend--to a point.
Jessa likes Arnie but she apparently feels he needs to be reminded of his inferior--to her-- status from time to time. So, on occasion, she will whack, or try to whack, him in the head. Jessa really likes to go for Arnie's head. Oh, she'll settle for his back, legs, or butt, but if she can get him in the noggin it's party time. I never know when Jessa plans to strike. I have to watch her with Arnie like the proverbial hawk. Most of the time I catch her before she strikes, but not always. Today was a "not always" day. Jessa got Arnie on the back, on the butt, and in the head. She had quite a party! But I managed to cut the celebration short. Arnie was rescued from being kept in his place and Jessa was duly chastised. And you know what? Tomorrow I'll have to do it all over again. Welcome to day care!
I was putting some things away in the babies' cubbies when I heard this thud sound. I turned around and saw Jessa whacking away on Arnie with a rattle. Arnie had the funniest what-did-I-do-to-deserve-this-? look on his face. I know I shouldn't have laughed, but the whole scene was tememdously funny. Yes, little Arnie was on the wrong end of the stick, er, rattle, but it was funny. I can't help it; it was funny! Of course, I quickly grabbed the rattle from Jessa and sternly told her that we don't whack our friends, but I laughed about the incident for the rest of the day.
This cute little incident highlighted a curious situation between Jessa and Arnie. Arnie adores Jessa. He loves it when she pays attention to him. Arnie can't crawl yet, but during tummy time he follows Jessa around by scooting on his stomach. When he's in the walker he squawks until Jessa comes over to him. He just loves her. Jessa's feelings for Arnie, though, are a little complicated.
When Arnie first arrived in my class, Jessa quickly develolped an intense jealousy of him. She wasn't jealous of Gregory, who's younger and cuter than Arnie, but she couldn't stand it if I paid any attention to Arnie. It got so bad that I had to corral Jessa whenever I fed Arnie because if I didn't she would pull on my pants' leg and fight to climb into my lap to the point of trying to push Arnie out of my arms. But in the past few weeks Jessa's jealousy has mysterioulsy lessened. She seems to enjoy him now, at least a little. She likes making Arnie laugh and now she lets me feed him in peace. Maybe she realizes that Arnie can actually be a playmate and not just a competitor for my attention. Whatever the reason, Jessa now seems to want to be Arnie's friend--to a point.
Jessa likes Arnie but she apparently feels he needs to be reminded of his inferior--to her-- status from time to time. So, on occasion, she will whack, or try to whack, him in the head. Jessa really likes to go for Arnie's head. Oh, she'll settle for his back, legs, or butt, but if she can get him in the noggin it's party time. I never know when Jessa plans to strike. I have to watch her with Arnie like the proverbial hawk. Most of the time I catch her before she strikes, but not always. Today was a "not always" day. Jessa got Arnie on the back, on the butt, and in the head. She had quite a party! But I managed to cut the celebration short. Arnie was rescued from being kept in his place and Jessa was duly chastised. And you know what? Tomorrow I'll have to do it all over again. Welcome to day care!
Sunday, June 17, 2007
A New Baby
Last Monday I got a new baby, a boy named Riley. Now I'm up to four babies again! Riley is really cute even though he has an old man's face; he doesn't look like a baby at all! Riley is six weeks old but he's advanced for his age. He already raises his head up when I put him on my shoulder. Before I know it, he'll be crawling, then walking, then leaving my class for the toddler room. Boo hoo! I don't want to think about that. I just want to enjoy Riley.
As I said, Riley is only six weeks old. He's my youngest now; he bumped Gregory--did I tell ya'll about Gregory?--from that spot. Gregory was two months old when I got him and he was BIG. He looked like a four month old. So having Riley is really different. I haven't had a baby this small in a while. It's taking me some time to get used to him. He's so light! All of my other babies feel like lead compared to Riley. But that adds to his charm. I think I'm going to like Riley a lot. I don't know if he'll become one of my Favorites, but I wouldn't be surprised if he did. So welcome to the family, Riley. Glad you could make it!
As I said, Riley is only six weeks old. He's my youngest now; he bumped Gregory--did I tell ya'll about Gregory?--from that spot. Gregory was two months old when I got him and he was BIG. He looked like a four month old. So having Riley is really different. I haven't had a baby this small in a while. It's taking me some time to get used to him. He's so light! All of my other babies feel like lead compared to Riley. But that adds to his charm. I think I'm going to like Riley a lot. I don't know if he'll become one of my Favorites, but I wouldn't be surprised if he did. So welcome to the family, Riley. Glad you could make it!
Wednesday, May 02, 2007
Goodbye Isabel
Last Friday was a very sad day. Last Friday was baby Isabel's last day at Kiddieland. I cried. Isabel was so precious to me. All of my babies are precious, of course, but there are some who touch my heart in a way the others don't and Isabel was one of those.
I don't know all the details about why Isabel left. Her parents were seriously considering moving about an hour away from their current home in order to reduce their commute but that's not why they pulled Isabel out Friday. There were other things going on. Whatever they were the end result is that I don't have my baby anymore. I do have Isabel's parents' phone number and I gave them my e-mail address so I'll be able to keep up with how my little darling is doing.
As sad as losing Isabel was I feel I've learned something from it. I've been toying with the idea of leaving day care; it just doesn't pay enough for a single person to live on(I currently live with my Mom). The thing that's been holding me back is my love for the kids. They really are MY babies. I can't stand the thought of leaving them with a stranger. And then Isabel left. Her parents and I got along really well. They knew that I took good care of their daughter, but when it became in their best interest to take their child out, they did. They didn't say,"Gee, we can't pull Isabel out. Her teacher loves her too much." No, when they needed to leave they left, no matter how much I loved their child.
I'm not mad at Isabel's parents at all. On the contrary, they showed me how I should feel about my job and the decision to leave or not. They showed me that when push comes to shove families will do what they think is in their best interest. I have no guarantee that any child I come to love will always be with me. So, I should base my career decisions on what's best for me, not on how much I love my babies because tomorrow they might not be with me. Families will leave a day care in a heartbeat if they feel they need to. I should give myself permission to do the same.
That's a hard lesson for me. I'm so attached to my babies that my heart overrules my head. But my love for my kids won't pay the electric bill, buy me a much-needed new car, or get me a place of my own. Money alone will do that and I'm not making enough at Kiddieland. I don't think I'll be quitting my job in the near future but I do think that I now have the will to do so when the time is right. Isabel taught me that.
I don't know all the details about why Isabel left. Her parents were seriously considering moving about an hour away from their current home in order to reduce their commute but that's not why they pulled Isabel out Friday. There were other things going on. Whatever they were the end result is that I don't have my baby anymore. I do have Isabel's parents' phone number and I gave them my e-mail address so I'll be able to keep up with how my little darling is doing.
As sad as losing Isabel was I feel I've learned something from it. I've been toying with the idea of leaving day care; it just doesn't pay enough for a single person to live on(I currently live with my Mom). The thing that's been holding me back is my love for the kids. They really are MY babies. I can't stand the thought of leaving them with a stranger. And then Isabel left. Her parents and I got along really well. They knew that I took good care of their daughter, but when it became in their best interest to take their child out, they did. They didn't say,"Gee, we can't pull Isabel out. Her teacher loves her too much." No, when they needed to leave they left, no matter how much I loved their child.
I'm not mad at Isabel's parents at all. On the contrary, they showed me how I should feel about my job and the decision to leave or not. They showed me that when push comes to shove families will do what they think is in their best interest. I have no guarantee that any child I come to love will always be with me. So, I should base my career decisions on what's best for me, not on how much I love my babies because tomorrow they might not be with me. Families will leave a day care in a heartbeat if they feel they need to. I should give myself permission to do the same.
That's a hard lesson for me. I'm so attached to my babies that my heart overrules my head. But my love for my kids won't pay the electric bill, buy me a much-needed new car, or get me a place of my own. Money alone will do that and I'm not making enough at Kiddieland. I don't think I'll be quitting my job in the near future but I do think that I now have the will to do so when the time is right. Isabel taught me that.
Monday, March 19, 2007
Four Babies!
I got two new babies today, making a total of four. Of course, I'd forgotten just how interesting four little ones can be since I haven't had that many in over six months. When I left to go on my lunch break all but one of them was crying. My director said she's going to hire someone to help me with the babies in the morning because four is too many for one person. I agree that four is too many but it's the minimum standard in Texas. Oh well, I've cared for four by myself before and I can do it again. I just hope at least on of them is sleeping when I get back!
Friday, January 26, 2007
Tears for Diapers
I had a touching experience at work the other day.
As all of you may remember, I had a little boy named Adam in my class. Adam moved up to the toddler room about two months ago but his mom and I are still close. Well, about a week ago Adam's mom mentioned that she was starting a new job. Adam had been in my class that day and she told me to use his diapers sparingly as she didn't know when she'd be able to get a new pack. At the end of my work day I went out and bought Adam a package of diapers. I didn't think anything of it. I knew his mom was struggling so I decided to help out.
When I got to work the next day I did the math and realized that the package of diapers I'd bought would only last a week, so I bought another, bigger, package of diapers. I didn't tell Adam's mom. I just quietly put the diapers in Adam's cubbie. Well, about a week later Adam's mom noticed the diapers in his cubbie and asked where they came from. I confessed. She cried. Adam's mom hugged me around my neck and literally cried. For a pack of diapers! Needless to say, I cried too.
Adam's mom is one of the most generous parents I have. She recently donated to the day care a high chair that Adam no longer uses. Think about it. She could have sold the high chair to make a little extra money but no, she chose to give it to me because she knew I needed it. In all my years in day care it's been my experience that the poorer parents are the most giving. Maybe they're that way because they know what it's like to do without. Whatever the reason, Adam's mom is true to the mold. Her heartfelt gratitude for a package of diapers moved me to tears. I hope it touches you that deeply, too.
As all of you may remember, I had a little boy named Adam in my class. Adam moved up to the toddler room about two months ago but his mom and I are still close. Well, about a week ago Adam's mom mentioned that she was starting a new job. Adam had been in my class that day and she told me to use his diapers sparingly as she didn't know when she'd be able to get a new pack. At the end of my work day I went out and bought Adam a package of diapers. I didn't think anything of it. I knew his mom was struggling so I decided to help out.
When I got to work the next day I did the math and realized that the package of diapers I'd bought would only last a week, so I bought another, bigger, package of diapers. I didn't tell Adam's mom. I just quietly put the diapers in Adam's cubbie. Well, about a week later Adam's mom noticed the diapers in his cubbie and asked where they came from. I confessed. She cried. Adam's mom hugged me around my neck and literally cried. For a pack of diapers! Needless to say, I cried too.
Adam's mom is one of the most generous parents I have. She recently donated to the day care a high chair that Adam no longer uses. Think about it. She could have sold the high chair to make a little extra money but no, she chose to give it to me because she knew I needed it. In all my years in day care it's been my experience that the poorer parents are the most giving. Maybe they're that way because they know what it's like to do without. Whatever the reason, Adam's mom is true to the mold. Her heartfelt gratitude for a package of diapers moved me to tears. I hope it touches you that deeply, too.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
