To Spank Or Not To Spank

While surfing blogs on BlogExplosion a few days ago I came across an anti-spanking blog. I briefly perused the site and thought it a little emotional. I prepared to leave a comment when I noticed a message from the blog's author that comments would no longer be allowed on her site because of unpleasant comments left by spankers who "tend to be an angry lot". I completely lost interest in the blog when I read that. To accuse parents and other adults who spank children of being somehow abnormally angry was a symptom of the self-righteousness that I often see from anti-spankers.

As you can probably guess, I'm pro-spanking, i.e., I believe that parents who want to spank their kids should be allowed to without judgment and certainly without interference from the law. Kiddieland, like most day care centers, doesn't allow spanking--or any real discipline, as far as I'm concerned--but I think that if a day care center wants to allow physical punishment with parental permission, it should be allowed to. I think that may actually be the law in Texas.

I know I probably ticked off half the universe with the above statements. People, especially the anti-spankers, can get really emotional on this issue. So let me explain why I believe that spanking is ok.

The main reason I'm pro-spanking is that I was spanked as a child and turned out alright. As hard as it may be for the anti-spankers to believe, I'm not a child abuser, domestic abuser, violent criminal, or depressed psychotic in spite of the fact that my mother whipped my tush when I needed it. The idea that spanking teaches violence is one of the anti-spankers' favorite arguments against physical punishment, but I've never seen that connection in real life.

I'm sure there are murderers and other violent people who were spanked as kids, but there are also countless hardworking, law-abiding and decent people who are loving spouses and parents who were also spanked as kids. Somehow their existence doesn't make an impression on the anti-spanking forces. Let's be honest here. It's takes a combination of many different influences to make someone a habitually violent person. Two or more kids can grow up in the same family, receive the same discipline and end up profoundly different adults. To say that spanking, or the absence thereof, is the decisive factor sounds a little too convenient to me.

Part of the problem may be that anti-spanking activists tend to conflate spanking and abuse. The blog mentioned above claimed that it was dedicated to protecting children from "physical assault". That's a loaded statement. The term "assault" conjures up dire images in the minds of most people. The effort to equate those images with parents who pop their kids on the behind once in a while is insulting, to say the least. But that's the dishonest tactic the anti-spankers use. Of course, many anti-spankers may truly believe that any physical punishment of children is physical assault, but that makes me question their ability to make sound judgments.

Children are not the equal of adults. They are under adults' authority because their understanding of life is limited by their age and cognitive development. Children don't instinctively know what's best for them. They will do what appeals to them without regard to the consequences. In fact, they lack the life experience to fully understand the concept of consequences, especially long term consequences. As the Bible so accurately puts it, "Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of correction will drive it from him." I think the extent to which someone believes the above proverb determines whether he's pro or anti-spanking.

I don't believe that parents have to spank their kids in order to keep them under control. I just think that parents who do shouldn't be condemned for it, and I don't think I'm alone. I feel that pro-spanking people--parents and non-parents--are by far the more tolerant side of the spanking debate. They aren't the ones accusing people of being abusers and assaulters; they aren't the ones demanding that the state impose their view on others through force of law.

If you don't want to spank your child, then don't. If you believe that spanking is an effective tool in an overall discipline strategy, then use it and don't sweat what the anti-spankers will say. Fight all attempts to outlaw spanking;that is an egregious violation of parents' right to raise their children as they, and not the state, sees fit. Yes, some people will make decisions for their kids that other people don't like, but unless it's abusive government--and activists of all kinds--have absolutely NO right to interfere. So I say spank if you feel it's right, don't if you don't, and live and let live. That's a lesson in tolerance that children can really use.