To Spank Or Not To Spank

While surfing blogs on BlogExplosion a few days ago I came across an anti-spanking blog. I briefly perused the site and thought it a little emotional. I prepared to leave a comment when I noticed a message from the blog's author that comments would no longer be allowed on her site because of unpleasant comments left by spankers who "tend to be an angry lot". I completely lost interest in the blog when I read that. To accuse parents and other adults who spank children of being somehow abnormally angry was a symptom of the self-righteousness that I often see from anti-spankers.

As you can probably guess, I'm pro-spanking, i.e., I believe that parents who want to spank their kids should be allowed to without judgment and certainly without interference from the law. Kiddieland, like most day care centers, doesn't allow spanking--or any real discipline, as far as I'm concerned--but I think that if a day care center wants to allow physical punishment with parental permission, it should be allowed to. I think that may actually be the law in Texas.

I know I probably ticked off half the universe with the above statements. People, especially the anti-spankers, can get really emotional on this issue. So let me explain why I believe that spanking is ok.

The main reason I'm pro-spanking is that I was spanked as a child and turned out alright. As hard as it may be for the anti-spankers to believe, I'm not a child abuser, domestic abuser, violent criminal, or depressed psychotic in spite of the fact that my mother whipped my tush when I needed it. The idea that spanking teaches violence is one of the anti-spankers' favorite arguments against physical punishment, but I've never seen that connection in real life.

I'm sure there are murderers and other violent people who were spanked as kids, but there are also countless hardworking, law-abiding and decent people who are loving spouses and parents who were also spanked as kids. Somehow their existence doesn't make an impression on the anti-spanking forces. Let's be honest here. It's takes a combination of many different influences to make someone a habitually violent person. Two or more kids can grow up in the same family, receive the same discipline and end up profoundly different adults. To say that spanking, or the absence thereof, is the decisive factor sounds a little too convenient to me.

Part of the problem may be that anti-spanking activists tend to conflate spanking and abuse. The blog mentioned above claimed that it was dedicated to protecting children from "physical assault". That's a loaded statement. The term "assault" conjures up dire images in the minds of most people. The effort to equate those images with parents who pop their kids on the behind once in a while is insulting, to say the least. But that's the dishonest tactic the anti-spankers use. Of course, many anti-spankers may truly believe that any physical punishment of children is physical assault, but that makes me question their ability to make sound judgments.

Children are not the equal of adults. They are under adults' authority because their understanding of life is limited by their age and cognitive development. Children don't instinctively know what's best for them. They will do what appeals to them without regard to the consequences. In fact, they lack the life experience to fully understand the concept of consequences, especially long term consequences. As the Bible so accurately puts it, "Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of correction will drive it from him." I think the extent to which someone believes the above proverb determines whether he's pro or anti-spanking.

I don't believe that parents have to spank their kids in order to keep them under control. I just think that parents who do shouldn't be condemned for it, and I don't think I'm alone. I feel that pro-spanking people--parents and non-parents--are by far the more tolerant side of the spanking debate. They aren't the ones accusing people of being abusers and assaulters; they aren't the ones demanding that the state impose their view on others through force of law.

If you don't want to spank your child, then don't. If you believe that spanking is an effective tool in an overall discipline strategy, then use it and don't sweat what the anti-spankers will say. Fight all attempts to outlaw spanking;that is an egregious violation of parents' right to raise their children as they, and not the state, sees fit. Yes, some people will make decisions for their kids that other people don't like, but unless it's abusive government--and activists of all kinds--have absolutely NO right to interfere. So I say spank if you feel it's right, don't if you don't, and live and let live. That's a lesson in tolerance that children can really use.

Whack-A-Mole!

Working in day care lets you see the funny side of babies and children. Sometimes that "funny" side can be kind of painful, though. Today Jessa, my oldest, decided to turn Arnie, my oldest boy, into a Whack-A-Mole, you know, that arcade game where you try to smash the moles to win tickets. I don't know what made Jessa want to turn poor Arnie into a mole, but she cut loose on him before I could stop her.

I was putting some things away in the babies' cubbies when I heard this thud sound. I turned around and saw Jessa whacking away on Arnie with a rattle. Arnie had the funniest what-did-I-do-to-deserve-this-? look on his face. I know I shouldn't have laughed, but the whole scene was tememdously funny. Yes, little Arnie was on the wrong end of the stick, er, rattle, but it was funny. I can't help it; it was funny! Of course, I quickly grabbed the rattle from Jessa and sternly told her that we don't whack our friends, but I laughed about the incident for the rest of the day.

This cute little incident highlighted a curious situation between Jessa and Arnie. Arnie adores Jessa. He loves it when she pays attention to him. Arnie can't crawl yet, but during tummy time he follows Jessa around by scooting on his stomach. When he's in the walker he squawks until Jessa comes over to him. He just loves her. Jessa's feelings for Arnie, though, are a little complicated.

When Arnie first arrived in my class, Jessa quickly develolped an intense jealousy of him. She wasn't jealous of Gregory, who's younger and cuter than Arnie, but she couldn't stand it if I paid any attention to Arnie. It got so bad that I had to corral Jessa whenever I fed Arnie because if I didn't she would pull on my pants' leg and fight to climb into my lap to the point of trying to push Arnie out of my arms. But in the past few weeks Jessa's jealousy has mysterioulsy lessened. She seems to enjoy him now, at least a little. She likes making Arnie laugh and now she lets me feed him in peace. Maybe she realizes that Arnie can actually be a playmate and not just a competitor for my attention. Whatever the reason, Jessa now seems to want to be Arnie's friend--to a point.

Jessa likes Arnie but she apparently feels he needs to be reminded of his inferior--to her-- status from time to time. So, on occasion, she will whack, or try to whack, him in the head. Jessa really likes to go for Arnie's head. Oh, she'll settle for his back, legs, or butt, but if she can get him in the noggin it's party time. I never know when Jessa plans to strike. I have to watch her with Arnie like the proverbial hawk. Most of the time I catch her before she strikes, but not always. Today was a "not always" day. Jessa got Arnie on the back, on the butt, and in the head. She had quite a party! But I managed to cut the celebration short. Arnie was rescued from being kept in his place and Jessa was duly chastised. And you know what? Tomorrow I'll have to do it all over again. Welcome to day care!

A New Baby

Last Monday I got a new baby, a boy named Riley. Now I'm up to four babies again! Riley is really cute even though he has an old man's face; he doesn't look like a baby at all! Riley is six weeks old but he's advanced for his age. He already raises his head up when I put him on my shoulder. Before I know it, he'll be crawling, then walking, then leaving my class for the toddler room. Boo hoo! I don't want to think about that. I just want to enjoy Riley.

As I said, Riley is only six weeks old. He's my youngest now; he bumped Gregory--did I tell ya'll about Gregory?--from that spot. Gregory was two months old when I got him and he was BIG. He looked like a four month old. So having Riley is really different. I haven't had a baby this small in a while. It's taking me some time to get used to him. He's so light! All of my other babies feel like lead compared to Riley. But that adds to his charm. I think I'm going to like Riley a lot. I don't know if he'll become one of my Favorites, but I wouldn't be surprised if he did. So welcome to the family, Riley. Glad you could make it!